Some girls are just special.

 Ever notice that the greats and the famous people felt like the losers and outcasts and uglies early in life. If they hadnt gone through that would they have paid enough attention to their talents to be where they are today?

Put it in writing. Anything you've been putting off. Now of course you have to be willing to do it, but writing it will help motivate you.

Enjoying the things you dread.

I kinda feel like we're wasting life if we're always dreading something. I mean it is natural. There's always gonna be something we don't wanna do, but maybe we can lessen the dread by trying to enjoy some of the things we dread. Even if the only thing you can think to enjoy out of something is when it's over. Continue to think about that. Don't think, "Oh... this sucks. I wish it were over now." Instead think of what a relief you'll feel when it's over. Try to enjoy completing tasks you don't like instead of dreading doing them. Even if you'll only enjoy the completion of a task it's better than focusing on how you don't like the task. But if there is something else that you can enjoy besides the completion, focus on that above the bad things. I think it can help with enjoyment in life. If we constantly are feeling a sense of dread, we can't let go enough to enjoy life. There's always going to be something you don't like. By learning to change your mood (thinking on the good things in everything instead of dreading) you can be on your way to enjoying life more.

I don't have much more to say on the subject, so I hope what I did say made sense. :)

I'll be honest.

I don't know everything about living. All these blog posts of mine that say what you should do or what would help is just me trying to figure out anyway to improve my life. If it helps you, that makes me so happy. But it's not me telling you what you have to do. It's me just trying to come up with ideas. These ideas stem from me wondering why or wanting more. I'm going to be honest and say that a lot of my own blog posts and ideas have not helped me. But that doesn't mean they can't help anyone. They just personally have done nothing for me. But I leave them up with the hope that maybe somebody can use them. I'm not going to take them away just because it doesn't help me. Not everything's meant to help me.

But onto my original point, honestly I get sad frequently because I don't feel like I'm living life. I don't know what it will take. I sit at home all day. I don't see any of my friends in person anymore. I don't know what kind of life I want, but I know it's more than this. Embarrassingly enough, I want to cry right now. Cry for the life that I'm missing out on because I don't know how to put myself out there and into life. I will continue trying to think of what I need to do. Feel free to comment. If anybody reads this at all. <3

Forever searching.

People.

I often think "How can people not love all the creative things I love? Why don't they think it's awesome too?" I admit I'm quick to judge anybody who is obsessed with sports. I don't understand it. Then I think, "How can they judge me?" Wait... I judge them. Ever notice that some people who think they "accept everyone" are the ones who judge a lot. I am so guilty of this. I see girls all the time who I automatically write off as annoying because their entire wardrobe is from a store I don't like. I also often write a lot of guys off as tools by their haircut or laugh. Stupid I know. I think judging starts from having bad experiences with multiple people who look a certain way. Then we all segregate ourselves from people who look or dress like people we've had bad experiences with. I'll admit it's hard not to judge people sometimes. Sometimes it's entertaining or funny. As bad as that sounds, it's become natural to do. But what if we never had those preconceived notions. What if we were all just people? What if we spent more time focusing on what we want to do or be instead of focusing on all the people that annoy you or all the people that you think you won't like. Well, if you're out and you see someone who looks like someone you wouldn't get along with, hold your tongue. Odds are you'll never see them enough to get to know them. So, it really doesn't matter. All it does is stir up feelings of agression. I mean who wants to be irritated all the time? You be you. Let people be just people. Does that make you feel less weighed down? If you don't like to be judged, don't judge. Or at least don't complain about being judged when you do it too.

If it makes you happy... ♪

Are you happy? Why not? You don't have a reason to be happy? Find one. It's like when you're growing up and you say, "I'm bored." Which of course your mom replies, "You're old enough to entertain yourself." Well, odds are if you're reading this you're old enough to make yourself happy. Okay, I mean there are exceptions. I've struggled with depression myself. If you're noticing mood issues that you can't control by all means talk to a doctor above all. <3 There's no shame in taking medication. People take medication to help them. That's what it's there for. Everyone's taken forms of medication. So, if you need to, talk to a doctor. :) But moving on, you can still try to change your mood. I do. Find various things throughout the day that make you hopeful, that make your outlook brighter. A song, a walk, a talk, a dream, a hobby, anything. Create, dream, and above all live. I say above all live, but you're probably thinking, "Why above all live? Doesn't that mean doing things you don't want to?" Well, that's life. Life is doing things you don't want to. Living is being alive. What does being alive mean to you? Find the positive things that make you feel alive and cling to them. When life is hard on you, you can still be happy living. You know why? Because you know how to define your own living. Living is what makes you happy. You can go to the things that make you happy when life is difficult. Living how you define it is amazing, but don't forget to live in this life too. You can enjoy the good parts of life and grieve in the bad parts of life. But with the bad parts of life, you now have a security blanket, so to speak. That is the things that you do or dream of and take comfort in.

I hope this post has made some sense. It's a little rambly. :p Smile? For me? For you? For anything. :)

You have a life.

Are you excited about life right at this moment? Why or why not? Do you find yourself always saying, "I don't have a life." Yes, you do. You can hang onto life for the ride or you can take the reigns into your own hands. You have a life. It's yours to develop and mold. What do you want? And don't tell me 'a life.' What do you want to change in the life you're already given? Leave a comment if you wish. :) Tell me what you want, but here's the catch: Start to set it into action. Even if it's just by tiny steps. Enjoy the tiny steps towards the completed project.

I feel like I'm writing the same thing over and over. Ideas of what I should write about next?

Life creates stress, but stress doesn't create life.

How can you live when under large amounts of stress each day? Are you really living? I know you have plenty of reasons to justify your stress, but do those reasons justify tearing yourself down? Because that's what stress does if you allow it. It tears you down. Do multiple relaxing/enjoyable things each day. That doesn't mean your whole day will be enjoyable. If you're running short on time, try to find something good about what you're working on or what's stressing you out. Look forward to the future when the task or stress is over. But at the same time live in the moment. If you have to dream a little to get through life, that's fine. But don't dream instead of living. Dream when you must, but live more. We waste our lives away because we're always looking forward to the next big thing or passing some big mark in life. Don't say, "I'll be able to live when ______ is over." Live through it. You might miss some good memories if you don't. Or go out of your way to create life in the mundane days. Do what makes you feel alive everyday. Don't wait for life. It's not coming. It's waiting for you.

Embracing the Fall.

I used to hate the fall. It always seemed that everything negative happened to me that time every year. Well, this year I can embrace this season even if it tries to break loose from my arms. I want to enter into a blank season ready to be filled with memories. Along with embracing this season, I'm also going to embrace another sense of the word "fall." I'm going to let go of my cares and "fall."


It will be my own descent to happiness. Once fall starts, I'm going to attempt to fall into a carefree life. Attempt is not the right way to fall though, so I will try to find a better word. If you're attempting or trying to fall into something it won't work. Falling is not something to try but to let happen. Let life happen and embrace it the whole way.

Do it in the morning. (It sounds suggestive, but it's not...ha...)

Got work hanging over your head? Why do we alway play first and work later? Work sucks. Why do we make it harder than it has to be? Want to go to bed and rest without stress hanging over your head? Don't put off work until it's late. Do anything you need to do in the morning. But do get a cup of coffee first... If not for caffeine my papers would read as, "The focus of ajdjljkbhnjmzzzzzZZZZZZzzzzzzZZzzz... *startled* Wha??" Haha. So, get ready, eat breakfast, and do whatever you need to start the day. Here's the hard part: Actually start the day. Don't wait for your day to start. Physically start the day yourself. It's your day, and I'm sure we actually want a day, right? Don't waste it. You can do whatever you want later, and I promise it will feel much less stressful that way.

Apologies for the rambling entry, but I doubt anyone reads this anyway. :p Basically, I'm writing to motivate my own lazy butt.

<3

I'm nothing but a dreamer.

We romanticize everything so much that we love the idea of things more than the actual things. We romanticize books, but we don't always read them. We don't always have interest in everything we love, if that makes sense. We love the beauty or the looks of things, but we don't love any work involved with things. At least I don't. I'm like a child to whom everything is new and beautiful, there is nothing bad. Except, for work of course. How do we get to work when we have this "dreamer" personality? I never get what I want because I never accomplish what I need to. We romanticize struggle and hard work to death, but we don't put it into action. Of course we don't. Who wants to willingly thrust themselves into struggle? I sure don't. But here's a tip. Just start. That's all you have to do. That's the first step each dreamer needs to take. Just start. If not now then when? You'll never start if you don't start. Simple. You cannot finish what you never started. Don't wait for the end. Create the end. Start now. Stop romanticizing everything and start doing everything. If not now then never. Start now.

Dreaming romanticly...

Talent and putting it to use instead of wasting away.

If you don't put your talents or at least most of them to use, they're not the only things that are going to waste away. I think you will waste away also. Or that's what I've experienced. People have said I have a talent for writing, now whether I believe it or not I should put it to use. Never quit because you don't have a high opinion of yourself. You'll never get anything done that way. But anyways, maybe put your talent to use for the ones who enjoy it or get something from it. If you're like me and used to raising others above yourself and constantly dragging yourself down, then do it for someone you love. Find your reason whatever it may be. But don't let wasting your talent waste you away. A talent is something that can keep you going. You can do it with ease, which makes you want to continue on. Then you receive self-accomplishment feelings when you're finished. But you'll waste away in idolness if you don't add using talents into your daily routine. It gives you a purpose and a desire to keep moving and a desire to obtain a more beautiful life. What is beautiful to you? What are your talents?

Now, not everything is going to be a talent. But you're going to have to get through those things anyways. How do you do it? Does it help to start your day off with something you love? Or does it help to save it for last? Or does it change day to day for you? I think mine is the last. I have no method that constantly works. It always changes for me. So, I just have to do it. I am not very good and efficient in  speaking on this matter in this paragraph, for I struggle very much with it. But if anyone has anything to say on this matter, I'd be delighted to hear it.

Imperfect, but beautiful that way.

Dayquil and Love.

I'm sick. With what I don't know, but it keeps getting worse. I finally gave in and broke into the Dayquil today. ...The packaging seal is kicking my butt right now. It just won't open. It's one of those dramatic moments where you think an object hates you, you're so worn out, and you just burst into tears. Hey, don't look at me like I'm crazy! You've done it too! When you're so worn out, it seems like everything's emotional. "I asked you to shut the door. What do you have against me??? -sniffle- -tear-"

But now that I've finally opened the Dayquil, and I feel better, onto my original point. Why is it that we all want love, but sometimes we think it doesn't meet our standards? Is this love? Don't I get fireworks? Cue the background music! Where's the romantic background music? Oh, well, maybe this isn't true love then.

This seems like the mindset of a lot of people today. If it doesn't meet their unreasonable expectations, it's not true love. Well, true love is not a movie that you're directing. True love is better described as a rollercoaster, no matter how stereotypical that is. Sure, there are great moments where you feel as if you could almost hear music. There are also moments when you just feel like great friends. Then there are moments where you may forget about the importance of doing little things for each other. You think, well why am I not feeling overjoyed right now? Well, maybe you need to start doing the things that you expect the other person to do. You can't just expect to be pleased every moment and forget to give anything back. That's not love at all. Sure, love can come along with amazing feelings, but love is more of an action than a feeling. I think it's more accurate to say "I Love You" or "I am loved" then to say "I feel loved." Feelings can be deceiving, but actions are true. Even saying "I am loved" is more true then "I feel loved." So, maybe we should be more concerned about what we do then how we feel. One last thing, there is no "true love." There is only love. If it's not true then it's not love. And love is not merely reserved for romantic couples. Love is for everyone. Show love to everyone.

Loving you.

Being sick sucks... Oooo... coffee...

I hate being sick. (But who doesn't?) I can't think or focus on anything for long. I can only focus on simple comforts and pleasures. (That sounds like a name for a store my mom would like...) One simple comfort I will not be denied is coffee. It's warm and tasty (if you aren't too sick to taste) caffeinated goodness. It just makes me happy. Simple as that.

It would be nice to travel the world and try as many variations of coffee as possible. Mmmm... There's a beautiful dream for my life.

I apologize for not writing much today. I do not feel good. I just want to drink my coffee and finish my work. Ahhh... I don't think it really matters how much I have to say right now since I only have 2 followers, is it? Do all humans naturally seek fame or is that just me?

Will you remember my name?

Getting started... Is it not the worst part of any task?

Today is a rainy day. I love rainy days. I think I'd prefer years full of rainy days with occasional sunny days. Rain never ruins my vacations as it does for most people. If there is not a rainy day on my vacation, it's not a perfect vacation. But the downside to rainy days is that they make it harder for me to work. Rainy days are so beautiful to me. They spark my imagination, my desire for fun and adventures. Unfortunately, they seem to downsize my work ethic. It's very difficult to get started on work when you are this happy and relaxed. It's like getting a restful night of sleep, and in the morning you feel so refreshed and happy that you just want to lay in bed smiling and day dreaming. That's what the rain does to me.

But I know I'll be happier tonight if I get something done. So, I'm going to work real hard now. I wish I hadn't woken up so late, but tomorrow I have the option to wake earlier. And today I have the option to work really hard. I guess I have to. Motivation doesn't usually work for me. I just have to do it. Once I start, it gets easier. I usually gain a higher work ethic after starting because I feel like I can just keep going. Therefore, I can't sit around until I get a revelation or hear a motivational quote or anything. I just have to do it. (I guess Nike's theme "Just do it" has some truth to it... If you get past the suggestive part...haha.)

This is for my own good.

I'm putting my blog above... my need to be clothed?

I'm sitting here, not fully clothed after getting a shower. Suddenly, I feel the desperate need to... Blog? Hopefully my wet hair won't damage my laptop because dang it! this is important! Not really...

So, yesterday I did fine. I defeated the period monster! Came close to overdosing on advil, but hey... So, today I'm going over to the boyfriend's house to spend the night and go to his graduation the next morning. We have to be there at 7 am and it's 3 hours away. Guess who's leaving at 3:30 in the morning??? Woot.

Actually, I'm nervous about staying the night at his house. I think I have a teensy bit of social anxiety, but I don't want anyone to know. SO, what better way to keep a secret than to blog about it! Shhhhhh... It's a secret...

Faithfully yours.

Dresses and Monsters...

Why in movies does it seem stereotypical that a pretty girl in a dress always is the one getting caught then saved.... and if not that... the pretty girl in a dress is the monster. I think if I were to defeat a big scary monster, I'd do it in a dress just to prove girl power. (Girls go through a lot. We're pretty freaking strong. And don't even get me started on our tolerance for pain...)

Today I feel like crap. I'm being attacked by the period monster. On top of that, I'm going dress shopping. Apparently, I feel the need to show my period who's boss. It doesn't like that. I don't know why it is, but I get cramps worse than anybody I know. Does anybody else feel my pain?

I need to find a dress to wear to my boyfriend's graduation. (I was praying that my period wouldn't come until next week, but it's a monster. And monster's are evil...) So, I'm going dress shopping while dealing with unbearable pain.

Wish me luck!

I'm... bored? But I have so much to do.

There comes a time each day when we must stop. Throw in the towel whether you're done with it or not. Because face it, we ALL need breaks. Multiple breaks are great. At least one per day, I'd say is necessary. I finished one whole unit including quizzes, test, and one essay. Plus, I did two more essays. I feel pretty self-accomplised. I almost want to go on, but I know I'm going to burn out if I do. So, what do we do when we're tired, have done so much work, but still feel the need to do more? We let it go for the night. I feel that's best. Just imagine setting the thoughts of your work outside and leaving it there and coming inside to relax. Pick it up again tomorrow.

So now, I'm thinking about my dreams. I have, what I would like to call, impossible dreams. I've dreamt of becoming a singer/songwriter. This is so far, my biggest "impossible" dream. It's at the top of the list. I take voice lessons actually. Plus I write poetry. But I've never written music. I feel I can't, but guess what? I know someone who's good at it and has before. So, if I team up with them and they take initiative for awhile that's a step in the right direction. But even if all that happened, I still feel it's impossible. Why? I'll tell you if I figure out any actual reasons. But since I can't, why am I holding myself back?

More impossible dreams to come tomorrow, but for tonight...

Sweet Dreams.

We want so much, but we do so little.

I want a beautiful life. But I don't know where to start. Maybe instead of just thinking of all the things we want to happen, we should do more. I'm still in highschool. I'm homeschooling online this year. I've gotten way behind so I can't even focus on what I want. I figure I should just do that, then think when I have free time. I'm not going to be thinking when I should be doing stuff. Today, I'm going to try to finish a unit in one subject and get halfway through another. What I want is to get this school work behind me for the year as fast as possible. There's something small that I know that I want. It's not very big, but it's my starting place.

I've concluded that you can't get what you want if you have things to be done. It does not matter if they are related to what you want or not. You still need to get them done first. You'll feel stuck, and only be dreaming until you get accomplished whatever has been hanging over your head. So, for now, dream if you want. But spend more time getting everything out of the way that you don't like. I'm sure we'll both feel better when nothing is looming over our heads. I've let this go way to long. Today, I will change. I will do. I will not put it off and think of other things.

So, hopefully, I will feel held accountable for my actions since I've just stated what I will do. Update tonight on whether I accomplished enough for today, or not.

Till then.

My first post.

The title reminds me of a children's book. But ah well. This post will not be too long, for I am new at this. I will be posting whatever my heart desires here.

Info about my title, etc: I titled my blog I Dream A Beautiful Life because I dream of an awesome life! I tend to think more than I do. I wait for life instead of taking it into my own hands. I'm going to be taking steps towards creating my beautiful life instead of just waiting for it to happen. This summer, especially. I am realizing that what you do is more important than what you think, therefore I might as well write my thoughts because then I am doing something, am I not? Maybe someone would like to read my thoughts and share their own with me?

If anybody sees this and has any advice about blogging, please comment. :) Also, if you have any tips for steps towards enhancing my pretty, pretty life, do share.

Much love.