I'll be honest.

I don't know everything about living. All these blog posts of mine that say what you should do or what would help is just me trying to figure out anyway to improve my life. If it helps you, that makes me so happy. But it's not me telling you what you have to do. It's me just trying to come up with ideas. These ideas stem from me wondering why or wanting more. I'm going to be honest and say that a lot of my own blog posts and ideas have not helped me. But that doesn't mean they can't help anyone. They just personally have done nothing for me. But I leave them up with the hope that maybe somebody can use them. I'm not going to take them away just because it doesn't help me. Not everything's meant to help me.

But onto my original point, honestly I get sad frequently because I don't feel like I'm living life. I don't know what it will take. I sit at home all day. I don't see any of my friends in person anymore. I don't know what kind of life I want, but I know it's more than this. Embarrassingly enough, I want to cry right now. Cry for the life that I'm missing out on because I don't know how to put myself out there and into life. I will continue trying to think of what I need to do. Feel free to comment. If anybody reads this at all. <3

Forever searching.

People.

I often think "How can people not love all the creative things I love? Why don't they think it's awesome too?" I admit I'm quick to judge anybody who is obsessed with sports. I don't understand it. Then I think, "How can they judge me?" Wait... I judge them. Ever notice that some people who think they "accept everyone" are the ones who judge a lot. I am so guilty of this. I see girls all the time who I automatically write off as annoying because their entire wardrobe is from a store I don't like. I also often write a lot of guys off as tools by their haircut or laugh. Stupid I know. I think judging starts from having bad experiences with multiple people who look a certain way. Then we all segregate ourselves from people who look or dress like people we've had bad experiences with. I'll admit it's hard not to judge people sometimes. Sometimes it's entertaining or funny. As bad as that sounds, it's become natural to do. But what if we never had those preconceived notions. What if we were all just people? What if we spent more time focusing on what we want to do or be instead of focusing on all the people that annoy you or all the people that you think you won't like. Well, if you're out and you see someone who looks like someone you wouldn't get along with, hold your tongue. Odds are you'll never see them enough to get to know them. So, it really doesn't matter. All it does is stir up feelings of agression. I mean who wants to be irritated all the time? You be you. Let people be just people. Does that make you feel less weighed down? If you don't like to be judged, don't judge. Or at least don't complain about being judged when you do it too.

If it makes you happy... ♪

Are you happy? Why not? You don't have a reason to be happy? Find one. It's like when you're growing up and you say, "I'm bored." Which of course your mom replies, "You're old enough to entertain yourself." Well, odds are if you're reading this you're old enough to make yourself happy. Okay, I mean there are exceptions. I've struggled with depression myself. If you're noticing mood issues that you can't control by all means talk to a doctor above all. <3 There's no shame in taking medication. People take medication to help them. That's what it's there for. Everyone's taken forms of medication. So, if you need to, talk to a doctor. :) But moving on, you can still try to change your mood. I do. Find various things throughout the day that make you hopeful, that make your outlook brighter. A song, a walk, a talk, a dream, a hobby, anything. Create, dream, and above all live. I say above all live, but you're probably thinking, "Why above all live? Doesn't that mean doing things you don't want to?" Well, that's life. Life is doing things you don't want to. Living is being alive. What does being alive mean to you? Find the positive things that make you feel alive and cling to them. When life is hard on you, you can still be happy living. You know why? Because you know how to define your own living. Living is what makes you happy. You can go to the things that make you happy when life is difficult. Living how you define it is amazing, but don't forget to live in this life too. You can enjoy the good parts of life and grieve in the bad parts of life. But with the bad parts of life, you now have a security blanket, so to speak. That is the things that you do or dream of and take comfort in.

I hope this post has made some sense. It's a little rambly. :p Smile? For me? For you? For anything. :)

You have a life.

Are you excited about life right at this moment? Why or why not? Do you find yourself always saying, "I don't have a life." Yes, you do. You can hang onto life for the ride or you can take the reigns into your own hands. You have a life. It's yours to develop and mold. What do you want? And don't tell me 'a life.' What do you want to change in the life you're already given? Leave a comment if you wish. :) Tell me what you want, but here's the catch: Start to set it into action. Even if it's just by tiny steps. Enjoy the tiny steps towards the completed project.

I feel like I'm writing the same thing over and over. Ideas of what I should write about next?

Life creates stress, but stress doesn't create life.

How can you live when under large amounts of stress each day? Are you really living? I know you have plenty of reasons to justify your stress, but do those reasons justify tearing yourself down? Because that's what stress does if you allow it. It tears you down. Do multiple relaxing/enjoyable things each day. That doesn't mean your whole day will be enjoyable. If you're running short on time, try to find something good about what you're working on or what's stressing you out. Look forward to the future when the task or stress is over. But at the same time live in the moment. If you have to dream a little to get through life, that's fine. But don't dream instead of living. Dream when you must, but live more. We waste our lives away because we're always looking forward to the next big thing or passing some big mark in life. Don't say, "I'll be able to live when ______ is over." Live through it. You might miss some good memories if you don't. Or go out of your way to create life in the mundane days. Do what makes you feel alive everyday. Don't wait for life. It's not coming. It's waiting for you.

Embracing the Fall.

I used to hate the fall. It always seemed that everything negative happened to me that time every year. Well, this year I can embrace this season even if it tries to break loose from my arms. I want to enter into a blank season ready to be filled with memories. Along with embracing this season, I'm also going to embrace another sense of the word "fall." I'm going to let go of my cares and "fall."


It will be my own descent to happiness. Once fall starts, I'm going to attempt to fall into a carefree life. Attempt is not the right way to fall though, so I will try to find a better word. If you're attempting or trying to fall into something it won't work. Falling is not something to try but to let happen. Let life happen and embrace it the whole way.

Do it in the morning. (It sounds suggestive, but it's not...ha...)

Got work hanging over your head? Why do we alway play first and work later? Work sucks. Why do we make it harder than it has to be? Want to go to bed and rest without stress hanging over your head? Don't put off work until it's late. Do anything you need to do in the morning. But do get a cup of coffee first... If not for caffeine my papers would read as, "The focus of ajdjljkbhnjmzzzzzZZZZZZzzzzzzZZzzz... *startled* Wha??" Haha. So, get ready, eat breakfast, and do whatever you need to start the day. Here's the hard part: Actually start the day. Don't wait for your day to start. Physically start the day yourself. It's your day, and I'm sure we actually want a day, right? Don't waste it. You can do whatever you want later, and I promise it will feel much less stressful that way.

Apologies for the rambling entry, but I doubt anyone reads this anyway. :p Basically, I'm writing to motivate my own lazy butt.

<3